life suspended

I look at the body I was given

lying there on the alley pavement

unmoving and cold

paramedics surrounding me

pushing hard on my chest

but I don’t feel the gravel bite into my back

they shove what looks like an inflatable plastic shovel

in my throat and scoop me up

am I dead?

should I go with my body to the hospital?

for a moment my heart flutters and I feel

a rush of pain in my head

my chest burning

and my feet feel so cold, can’t I have a blanket?

next thing ten faces are

shouting things at me prying open my eyes

and I hear “pupils six and fixed”

someone is pushing air into my lungs with a large purple balloon

and I realize I am seeing my body again from the outside

shredded cloths all around me and my body exposed

it looks like me but it doesn’t feel like me at all

in fact I don’t feel any pain

that must mean I’m dead then I feel the jolt of

electricity sear through me and my heart jumps to life.

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